Reality Check

This morning, I received an incredibly liberating reality check.

My youngest, Carson, is one of the most adorable children on the planet. (OK, I might be slightly biased, but he is pretty darn cute.) He has the blondest hair, very thick, but still baby soft, and piercing blue eyes. Petite for his age, he is still a pistol, which is probably due to competing with his older brother since birth. My boys are only nineteen months apart, so they are very competitive, but in a close, best friend sort of way.

Anyway, Carson has really struggled with language, reading, speech, etc… since he first started school. His struggles to grasp basic phonics and vocabulary really came to light this year when he entered 2nd grade. Fortunately, he goes to an incredible elementary school and has a wonderfully patient, kind and persistent teacher. She believes in him, his potential and his ability to successfully complete 2nd grade.

The school organized an educational intervention, which consists of doing periodic testing to gauge his progress and various strategies to help improve his reading, phonics and vocabulary skills. Everyone takes a part of the plan…parents, reading aid, teachers, etc… and then we meet every few weeks to review his progress, what is working and what needs to happen next. Kudos to Castle Elementary!!! The process works and I'm very impressed with it. I'm an engineer…I like measurable results.

Anyway, this morning, we had our third meeting of the school year. Carson's progress has been phenomenal. It's a true testament not just to the intervention process and dedication of the teachers and staff, but to my son as well. He is so eager to learn and to succeed that I am often speechless. (Those of you that know me can attest to the rarity of that state!) I admit that sometimes I really just want some peace and quiet, but he's a sponge and his thirst for knowledge allows me to rarely see a quiet moment. Now, I fully appreciate what my parents went through with me.

The last couple of days, I've allowed myself to get sucked into anger, confusion and self-recriminations over petty, insignificant and irrelevant items. At the end of the day, I'm a very lucky woman. I have incredible kids….they are smart, polite and very well rounded. I have a pretty great job that while not always stimulating has allowed me to see the world, develop my own sense of self, shored up my self-confidence and allows me to live independently in a nice home with my children.

So, why do I allow others to interfere with my happiness? I'm really not sure. And, today, I feel fantastic about who I am, where I am at and where I am going. I don't owe anyone explanations about my life. And, quite frankly, their opinions really don't matter, do they? My opinion matters. God's opinion matters. But, everyone else is either true friend or foe. My true friends love me unconditionally and I am very thankful for that. They see me for who I am…human, flawed, but beautiful and full of potential none the less. I'm not perfect, but I don't have to be. I can make mistakes. It's OK. I'm still a great person and I still have a really great life.