Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Feminism in the New Millennium - Part I

Yesterday’s blog elicited such a strong response that I felt it was prudent to follow up my “Is women’s liberation a crock?” blog with a more in-depth explanation of my intent when writing it. What has surprised me so greatly is the number of men that have very strong opinions on the subject, demonstrating once again, that perspective definitely colors our perception of reality.

First of all, I am a bitch. Part of the manifesto’s premise is that women do and should self classify themselves as such. It is perhaps wise for me to define why I am a bitch, as there appears to be some confusion, perpetuated by my giving only a sampling of Ms. Freeman’s work. (The entire piece can be read and reviewed at Jo Freeman.com.) My self definition, as a bitch, is not derogatory in any way. It serves only to define who and what I am and embraces the independent spirit of the feminist movement.

Personality - I am aggressive, assertive and strong-minded, blunt, candid and hard-headed. Through the years, I’ve learned to restrain my competitive drive and boisterousness to a certain extent, but I am still driven, ambitious and demanding. Ms. Freeman states, “A bitch occupies a lot of psychological space. You always know she is around.” My friends can attest to my embodiment of the statement. I live it, breathe it and embrace it.

Physical - I am big, tall, strong, large, loud, and somewhat brash at times. I differ with Ms. Freeman when she states that bitches are ugly. I think this is perhaps one of the areas that I struggle with the most in my day to day life. Ugly for me is a choice. I choose to be pretty, feminine in appearance and well put together.

Orientation - Always striving to be a subject, rather than an object, my identity is clearly defined by my own actions, behaviors and attributes. I am not your wife; I am Christine. I am not your girlfriend; I am Christine. I am not Kendall’s mother; I am Christine. I choose to fulfill the role of wife, mother or girlfriend, but first and foremost, I am Christine. It is a very subtle difference that is often overlooked by the population at large.

Proudly, I wear the badge of a bitch, because I choose to, not because someone defines me as such. And, it is not by their definition, but my own that I choose to live.

The purpose of the blog was not to complain that life isn’t fair or that I’m tired of being judged and classified, but rather to lift up a voice to state that I choose not to fit the stereotype, the role defined by the feminist movement. My choice is to fight, daily, to maintain a balance between the traditional woman and the feminist.

The purpose of the blog was to declare at the top of my lungs that I want more. But, then again, perhaps, what I want is less, less independence and more of a partnership, less competition and more cooperation.

My opinion is that the feminist movement was about striving for more. Woman wanted their own identity, their own self-worth and self-reliance. Many of us now have that. What I’ve learned is that I don’t want or need everything on my own. The pendulum has swung from one extreme to the other and I find that what I want is to be in the middle. I do not want to dominate, but I want to be equal. I do not want to be militantly independent; I want to co-depend.

So, for the men in my life, friends, co-workers, family, my blog was not about bitching, but about embracing the spirit of the bitch, while proudly proclaiming that I’m still a woman, a little girl, a daughter, a mother and a friend.

For the women in my life, the blog was about validating the questions, shedding light on the struggle and opening a door for discussion and self discovery.

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