Finding Happiness

Increasingly, I am aware of a staggering number of family, friends and co-workers that seem to be struggling with their lives, searching for the magic place known as happiness. And, I must confess that I am often in the trenches with them. Fortunately, I’m eternally optimistic and have strove to perfect the practice of self-evaluation and introspection over the last several years. Whether from maturity or natural sensitivity, I have for many years clung to the belief that I had to be happy with myself, first and foremost.

Curious as to why I write on this topic today? Well, I happened across an insightful and easily readable piece on Oprah.com, “The Truth about Magic Lists.” ( http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/omag/ss_omag_200802_mbeck.jhtml) The piece was written by Martha Beck, a life coach and published author. The piece struck a nerve with me because it speaks so openly about the difference between what we want on the surface and what truly makes us happy and fulfilled as human beings. Her contention that “….no external person, place or thing can ‘make’ us happy.” is exactly what I’ve been telling myself for years.

Perhaps, this is why over the last several months, as I’ve finally allowed myself to relax, to enjoy my family and friendships, as I’ve learned to love my body as it is and without recriminations, as I’ve let go of trying to please everyone else and worrying about monetary possessions, that I’ve finally started to feel some small measure of true peace and joy. Not happiness based on someone else’s attention or approval, not contentment due to financial independence, but sheer joy in the connections of my life, in who I am, what I may become, who I love and treasure.

And, I think it is for this same reason that the flood gate of positivity has finally swung my way. No longer lost in the shadows of self doubt and insecurity, I’m finally the positive influence that I always knew that I could be. Am I blissfully happy with everything in my life? Of course not. There are so many things that I still want to accomplish and experiment with, but I’m happy with myself.

So, according to Ms. Beck, now is the time for me to make my Magic List. It won’t contain a physical description of Mr. Right. It won’t contain a manifest of monetary possessions. A description of the perfect job with an obscene salary will be noticeable absent. My happiness lies with me…I want family, friends, comfort, companionship, understanding, joy, fun, amusement, challenges, passion and security.

Wish me luck! But, I don’t think that I’ll need it.